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Thank you for sharing all of these marvelously complex thoughts and emotions. Good luck on Thursday!!

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About the remark you quoted about how we should all be better musicians after the pandemic: I find that remark revealing of a conviction that “becoming a better musician” is something you do mostly with lonely toil. An overworked musician like most employed orchestra players stands to benefit from rest and reflection, relaxation and review. But what about about students and freelancers? It is not only that they have lost their incomes - they have lost the opportunity to play with and for others, opportunities that are for these groups rare and valuable. Testing musical practice in the context of conflict, contest and community - this is an essential part of becoming that good musician we all want to be. Burdening those who are perhaps just barely surviving with the expectation that they are supposed to be better when it is over - who will make that judgement when we all emerge blinking from our caves?

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Good essays! Thank you and good luck with surgery and recovery.

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absolutely relate to that musician experience of the mri... many good thoughts being sent your way for the surgery and hope that time can move for you at the rate you’d hope to until then. thank you for taking the effort to bring all these thoughts together so masterfully

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